Hospital Assistant
Now Hiring: Hospital Assistant
(Written by me, the most important patient you will ever meet - a cat)
Your Responsibilites (as approved by me):
-Assist the Vets and LVTs while pretending I'm not judging your every move.
-Hold me "gently" (I define gently differently depending on my mood).
-Clean, stock, and keep things organized.....because I refuse to sit anywhere less than spotless.
-Help with appointments while my human asks 47 unnecessary questions.
-Offer treats. Then better treats. Then different treats when I reject teh first two.
-Read my body language (tail flick = you're on thin ice).
What I Expect From You:
-At least 1 year experience in a veterinary setting is preferred.
-Ability to multitask under pressure (especially when I decide I am done with this appointment).
-Excellent communication skills with humans....and the ability to interpret my silence.
-A strong work eithic and team mentality (yes, you'll also help dogs....try not to hold taht agains them).
Bonus Points If You:
-Know how to wrap me in a burrito without offending my dignity.
-Can locate the good treats without asking.
-Don't take it personally when I act like I've never met you before.
Perks of Serving Me:
-Occasional Purring (earned, not given).
-The privilege of being chosen as my temporary favorite human.
-A supportive team environment (they're actually quite nice).
-Opportunities to learn and grown in veterinary medicine.
-Pay and Benefits (which I'm told you care about).
Final Thoughts:
I may hiss. I may glare. I may dramatically act like you've wronged me forever.
But if you're calm, patient, and know what you're doing....I'll trust you.
And that? That's the highest honor you'll receive.
Now Apply!
I'll be watching.
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